square 1...

This is where we are today.

Back to square one.

After a 21 day wait we finally heard something yesterday...and it wasn't what we wanted to hear.  I've struggled over the last 24 hours as to whether I should post an update here.  Not sure what to say.  So I'm just going to tell the truth.  This is the adventure that our family has chosen that has been chosen for our family and its not easy...better to share what is really happening because others in our lives will have to make these tough decisions and I want them to know that we've been here---probably will be here again...

Yesterday we got an email that told us that the child we had been waiting to hear about has been diagnosed with Infantile Quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy.  I know.  Wow.

Of course I googled and read about it.  Lots of medical mumbo jumbo.  Thankfully, I am married to a man that deals with medical things in his line of work and knows what questions to ask.  So he did.  And we kind of got answers and we had to make a choice.  And we did.  We said no.

When you start the adoption process you have to fill out a crazy amount of paperwork.  Included in the pile is a crazy list of conditions that you would consider---everything from asthma to breathing tubes from race of the child to wheelchairs to cancer to HIV.  It was really hard.  There were lots of tears from me just reading the list and filling out the form.  We had already said no to wheelchairs because of the make-up of our house---our hallways aren't very conducive.  But yesterday we said no to a child.

I've been comforted in knowing that the child is in a good place.  The foster family he is with is equipped to care for special needs kids.  My friends in the field have said that they know of many families that all they do is take care of and adopt special needs kids...

So here we are.  Waiting for an email or phone call that says there are kids that need a home.  Square one.  I have a feeling we may become more familiar than I ever intended...but we're learning...with every step.  Thanks for walking with us.