i did it!

I saw this shirt at the race expo at the beginning of the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon Weekend. I decided that is the shirt I wanted...but was it true? Did I heart 13.1 miles?? I had only ever done 10 miles...and how did I even do that? I had been to these race expos before. My running hubby had me along to get his race packet multiple times. But this time was different. How did I get to be the one standing in line to get my number to run a HALF MARATHON?

I wasn't quite sure and it didn't quite seem real but I was there. And I was surprisingly excited. I've never really cared about competition. I would rather let someone else win. I've always thought of myself as pretty lazy if I'm being totally honest. But something about the thought of this race got me going. I knew I wasn't going to win. I just wanted to finish. I wanted to be able to tell myself that I had done it. Having friends to do it with me helped a lot...

Especially when we all met in the lobby of the hotel at 3:30 in the morning! I didn't sleep much the night before and I was the first to arrive at our meeting point...as I watched the other ladies boarding the bus to the race (literally hundreds) I was losing my nerve. I mean these ladies were real runners...I was just a girl who decided to start training in November and made myself a tutu...a runner, I was not. Then I saw smiling, familiar faces...it made all the difference. The bus ride was full of conversation and excitement and laughing...

Kate and I ended up in the same corral to start the race. I am so thankful she was there to keep me laughing. The race didn't start for us until 6:20 am...that is quite a wait in the chilly early morning air with nerves moving through you...But we were so excited! The fireworks and the Fairy Godmother to start the race were fantastic! Not to mention the energy from 20,000 runners...

As I was running through the castle at Magic Kingdom I happened to look up and see Kate! I couldn't believe it...we had not been together since the beginning and now almost 6 miles in, here she was. Kate was the photographer for my mile 6 shot...the only picture, I might add, of me during the race. Unlike my crazy husband, I did not stop for any pictures with all the characters along the race route. There were plenty but I was nervous that if I stopped I wouldn't start again. :)

It was tough...13.1 miles is a long way. Especially mile 8-12 for me...wow...I honestly don't remember much past mile 10. I just wanted to be done. I can't believe what a mental game running is...all the other people running with you doesn't matter...its all about you and your ability to stick with it. I did it. I was slow but I did it. And so did all my other princesses that started with me in that hotel lobby at 3:30 in the morning. I'm so proud of us!

...and yes, I bought the I heart 13.1 shirt. And I do. Well, that day I didn't. We drove home from Orlando that day so I was stuck in the car and honestly felt like death---but the next day I felt great! I was pleasantly surprised how un-soar I was. So, yes, I think I'll do it again...maybe even a bit faster next time...I guess I'm a runner now.

tutu party

Everyone has been so supportive of my last blog that I thought I would treat you to a preview of our race day outfits...This is from our tutu making party...no I had not made mine yet. I may have spent too much time just chatting. Can you imagine?! No worries! Its ready to go now and my mom even figured out how to make me a custom "Goofy" headband so that my daddy is with me every step of the way. :) Next stop...the finish line!

I'm not a runner...

So my birthday is coming up. In 6 days. I'll be 33. Age doesn't bother me. I'm thankful for every day I get. Lots of people didn't have the opportunity to celebrate their 33rd year so I am all for it.

I'll be doing something else that day that lots of other people can't say they have done...I'll be running a half marathon. What?! I know, I'm not a runner---but apparently I am.

As you all know, my husband picked up this sport a couple years ago and I honestly didn't think it would last this long. But he fell in love. I mean he LOVES it! We ran a race together a couple summers ago...I can't say I enjoyed it---I enjoyed being with him, of course. But not the race.

Somehow, last November he talked me into signing up for the Princess Half Marathon at Disney. A couple friends and my sister in law were signing up, too. None of us are really "runners". This is our first big race. Have I mentioned that its in 6 days?!

So I started training...Hubs found me some cool apps for my phone. I have a GPS that tells me how far I've gone, my pace, and calories burned. And I've got a very nice man that tells me when to walk and when to run. See I can't run a mile without stopping...I use Jeff Galloway's run/walk/run method. Its a miracle. I honestly can't believe I have stuck with this training. You see, I'm not competitive. I could care less who wins. But suddenly I care whether or not I finish this race. I mean, last weekend, I ran 9 miles in the cold. yuck. This weekend, instead of taking a nap or cleaning or staring off into space, I ran 10 miles. Who am I?!

I'm hardcore. I'm a rock star. I am strong. I do hard things. I am a runner. This is what my coach tells me. He tells me I'm cute, too. and that he's proud. He's my hubby. and I couldn't do this without him.

As I was running my 10 miles last weekend (there is a lot of time to think when you do that) I was surprised by the emotional roller coaster I went on. I was excited, mad, exhausted, thankful, happy, sad...crazy. I'm not gonna lie. There were tears. Happy and sad along the way. But I didn't stop. What kept this girl going? This girl that doesn't care a lick about competition or winning? Of course, God (there is a lot of time to pray when you run, too) and I always feel my dad with me when I'm out there. I also hear all the things all my fabulous friends and family have said about my doing this. I feel supported.

This particular run I was run down...pun intended. I was at mile 8 and I was tired. I started to think about all the hard things I've done in my life. I went off to college where I knew no one, I got on a plane to England to live for 3 months, I did natural labor and childbirth---twice, I started my own business knowing NOTHING!, I stood next to my brother at his wedding after, only hours before, we had suffered a miscarriage, I stood up and gave the eulogy at my dad's funeral...hard stuff. Definitely not the hardest things on earth but hard...

As I am about to turn 33 I am reminded that my best friend has been with me all along this path. God brought us together when I was only 19. Thankfully, we have celebrated many more seasons than we have suffered through...but we have been together. He is my biggest cheerleader and supporter and the one to give me the nurturing to bloom or the kick in the pants to get moving. I am so thankful that he has pushed me along this path. I have a feeling that running a half marathon will be added to my list of hard things. But having that list "run" through my head brought up other words, as well. I am strong. I am doing this.

He has helped bring that confidence out in me...he also encourages me to dance randomly which is never a bad thing...

And no matter what happens on Sunday...whether I finish this race or not. I know he will be proud. 13.1 miles is honestly nothing to him...he does that on a Saturday. But he always puts me out front to shine... Thank you for being who you are and bringing out my better me! I can honestly say that I am so excited for the race on Sunday...and yes, you were right. I'm hooked!

batSam

These are the little moments I want to remember. Driving to school in the outfit that he dressed himself in. Cowboy boots on the wrong feet and a Batman mask...and its just a normal day. I want his world to be surrounded with this simple happiness for as long as possible. And its my job to make sure of that. He doesn't always have to do everything exactly as I ask him to...he is discovering who he is and I am here to guide that journey.

Its little moments like these that bring me back to what is important. It doesn't matter that he didn't eat the cereal he asked for this morning, that his room is a mess, or that he didn't follow directions exactly to my liking. We got where we needed to be, on time, and with a happy face---both of us. That is what its all about...

she's on the go!

Well, after proper peer pressure from the neighbor...RK finally gave riding her bike without training wheels a go. Daddy was a great coach and runner while leaning over! She's doing great riding around on 2 wheels and she LOVES it! It has been a bit rare to find something that the girl likes to do outside so this will work. :)

The only downside? She is FAST! We live on a fabulous circular street but I can't walk around it with her while she rides. I am needing my own bike, that is for sure! Preferably something with a big butt seat and a cute basket.

I'm sure the boy won't be far behind her in the bicycle department. His training wheels have come off, as well but he is quite the "leaner". We'll see...

My phone just went off to remind me that we have a Home Study in an hour. Like I needed a reminder. Like I've thought of anything else since we got the email last week that we need another visit. We were only supposed to have 2. We've had them. The last was in November and we were told we would be approved by Christmas. Well that passed with nothing. Then we got the email last week to set up this appointment.

By no stretch of the imagination have we been waiting a long time. We've discussed adoption for 13 years but we only just started down the road last April. Not to mention the fact that we have 2 kids already. I know many people that have waited years...and I feel terrible just mentioning it...but I'm frustrated.

I hate that we don't have a map. I hate that we don't know how long this road is going to take. I hate that I don't even know what to plan for...what will our family look like? and then, once we have a new kid/kids, how will that impact our family? Will I be in the middle of that wishing to be back here?

I'm trying to look at this time as a gift. Preparation. Trust. Patience. Not so good at all of those...

Should we move onto looking into private adoption? International? Honestly, we don't have the $$ saved that we should of if we were planning on that---another long road. God willing, I could always get pregnant again... Should we just abandon the whole adoption idea?

............

I know for sure without a shadow of a doubt, the answer to that last question is NO. We KNOW deep within our souls that God wants us to adopt.

And this is all part of the process.

Am I strong enough to walk this road?

I feel like there is a word that keeps popping up as we've been traveling...TRY. We have to try. There has been a whole world opened up to us as we have learned about the foster and adoption situation in GA. Lots of issues we had never thought about before. Sure we know we are called to do this within our little family but what about our extended family? What about our friends? Is it really fair to force them into a situation they most likely have no experience with and don't know how to react? People know how to handle you when you're pregnant....not so much when you tell them you are adopting. But over and over again I feel like God is telling us to try...we have to. I honestly feel like we don't have any other choice. There are children that need love and a home and we have that. We are just as much in the dark as our family and friends about what this will all look like---but we have to try.

TRY.

I feel like this post is the most soul-bearing I've done on here. Its really hard for me to push post...I just know that I greatly appreciate someone speaking the words that I am feeling sometimes. Even if its not specifically adoption-related, there are so many roads that are put before us that are so hard. and its not all rainbows and unicorns. I'm looking hard for the rainbows today...this may be one of the days of rain...cause we gotta have that before the pretty colors, right?

2012 is coming...

Wow. It is amazing what changes in a year. I've learned that over and over again over these past handful of years...but it is still crazy to me. 2011 has been a year of a new "normal". Learning to live without an everyday staple in my life that was my Dad. To be honest, I'm pretty sure that will be an on-going lesson for the rest of my days. At least I hope it is.

If you would have told me a year ago that this morning I would have run 3 1/2 miles (because I chose to---not because someone was chasing me) I would have thought you were off your rocker. My husband is the runner. Not me. Well, friends, he has gotten me to cross over to the dark side. Honestly, he is the best cheerleader and coach a girl could ask for. We are actually headed to Disney this weekend so he can run in the Goofy Challenge. 1/2 marathon on Saturday and Full Marathon on Sunday. Yes...they call it Goofy for a reason! He has wanted to do this race for over 2 years and has worked SO hard! He's so excited and I know he is ready and will be great. We are running a teeny tiny 5K on Friday together so he will jog backwards and love me and be proud of me even though that distance is nothing to the super star that is Steven Davis. I couldn't be more proud to call him mine. :)

2011 also marked the official beginning of our Team Davis Adoption Road. We've talked about it for years and knew we were going to do it "one day." But this year we really put the rubber to the road. We've completed our "Impact" classes, filled out all our agonizing paperwork, sailed through 2 home visits...and now we've been waiting. Waiting to wait, actually. Around October we were done with our side of things. Now we just wait on the state of GA to officially approve us. Back then they said Christmas. Well, guess again. I've tried not to make it all about the mailbox but its hard not to get my hopes up as I walk there everyday. Its just a letter. Its not even a referral for a child. I just want to be approved so our official wait can start. But alas, not in 2011. Oh well. At least we are on that road now. We knew it was going to be long and hard. Long and hard just isn't all that easy when you are actually in it...can I get an amen?!

And before this year comes to a close I must bring up another surprise that I would have laughed at a year ago. I started another business. OKhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif, not like a storefront, retail with another rent kind of business. But a small on the side, I like to be creative and my house is no where big enough for all the stuff I want to create, kind of business. Its called "signs of happiness". Because that is exactly what I make. Things that make me happy. Hopefully, it will make others happy, too, and they will want to pay me for that little bit of happiness to go live at their house. :) I've got a fan page on Facebook and a blog. Luckily, I already have a retail space so if you are local and want to see---come on to color me happy and check them out!

I have no idea what 2012 will bring. Its looking pretty bright from where I am sitting though. I'm thankful for another year of doing what I love with the people I love in the town I love. I couldn't really ask for more...I pray the same for you.